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The Scrambler

i miss you. why cant we have lunch tomorrow. Mongolian barbecue!!!


that would be fun!

unfortunately Jenny has me tied to her during the two days that i am actually here in the


why didn't you ever ask me to lunch during the MONTHS that i was actually IN

I wasnt hungry then... you could have asked me too fucker, this aint no one way street no
matter what fanciful magical realm you choose to think you exist in, and pretend to rule

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the *(@#(*$&@(*#$&@#(*$

well in my magical realm i did ask you to lunch. fucker.

no you didnt, you asked your unicorn to share a bowl of glitter with you.

You didnt ask me to lunch, you didnt email me, you can lie to me Vanna, but please dont lie
to yourself.

dude! i remember chatting with you and you said "sometimes a moose gotta hang alone" or


a wild horse runs free, a moose stomps out flaming unicorns, but the moose always wants
the wild horse to come to it, never otherwise? The wild horse has needs, The moose likes
the horse but never really offers to come see the see the horse in the horses environment.
What kind of vengeful relationship can this be? Why does the horses pasture not seem
inviting? Does it smell too bad? When the moose poops, does it not stink?

i'm confused.

please clarify moose/wild horse dynamic.

just kidding! why would i do that?

here's the thing: wild horse afraid o' poop stink. the vengeful relationship continues.
pastures littered with stomped out unicorns, bowls of glitter flung carelessly in their
stomped out wake. the moose walks on. wild horse flails about.

preferring to remain healthy, the wild horse runs in the opposite direction, realizing it does
not want to follow the moose as it alone walks tirelessly on, preaching its brilliance, blind to
the perimeter of the hunting range its about to cross.

wild horse cannot forget the carnage of the stomped unicorns. as the moose enters the
perimeter of the hunting range, wild horse flies in front of the moose! immediately wild
horse is speared through the heart, fallen at last. the final act of revenge is made. moose is
no longer able to preach. but settles into the farthest reaches of the earth, spending his days
forlornly snorting lines off the backs of whores.

Wild horse has been speared many times, but does not die. Moose retreats, wild horse acts
like its dead, but is stronger than ever. Moose develops coke habit, hates itself and eats
poisoned berries to end it all, wild horse scars, but remains intact on earth, shrunken due to
loss of blood it re-drinks much needed nectar to heal while quietly rereading moose's
"teenage girl diary" style of discourse, laughing a horse laugh.


moose develops coke habit, hates itself and begins eating poisoned berries to end it all.
Unbeknownst to moose wild horse is watching from afar, and in the night, replacing
poisoned berries with berries filled with a nectar that heals moose but also acts to erase
short term memories. moose wakes up more clear than the days before, until he begins to
roam again, happily making his way across lands in search of grasses and waters.
...happy grasses and waters in the middle of a firing range and nuclear testing facility where
horse stands before the big red button. But does horse push the button? Too late, horse is
shot in the back of the head by a Nazi. Nazi pushes button, moose runs and the shooting
begins. Moose dead, all dead, life over. Way to go Vanna.

LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ack!!!!  you win! dammit!
A conversation between the late Vanna Planuff and Shyner Nybok: